Marriage is a dream for many people. They hope to soon meet their life partner and spend their life together.
However, just as sailing a ship isn't always smooth sailing, so too is the ark of a marriage. There will always be waves, sometimes very strong at the start of the voyage, but it's also possible that large waves will come after years of sailing.
Knowing the long journey of marriage and the strong waves that will hit it, Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal advised his son with 10 points. Hopefully, all of us, especially husbands, can benefit from these ten points of advice. He said, āYou will not find happiness in your home unless you give your wife these 10 things.ā Here are the 10 important things:
First And second, This is the most important thing. Women love expressions of love, so don't be stingy with expressing it. Being stingy will create barriers, distance, and a lack of harmony.
Third, women hate dictatorial men and really like men who are gentle, soft and wise, so show these attitudes proportionally
Fourth, Women like what their husbands like in their wives, such as kind words, good looks, clean clothes, and a pleasant scent. Try to be like that!
Fifth, The home is a woman's kingdom and her throne. The woman is the queen. Do not destroy her throne, do not remove her from her throne. Doing so is like stripping her of her kingdom. Of course, a king or queen would be furious when deposed.
Sixth, a woman on the one hand wants to be devoted to her husband and on the other hand she also does not want to neglect her family. Never put yourself on one scale and her family on the other, (do not say to your wife) choose me or your family?
Seventh, Women were created from a crooked rib of a man, and this is the secret of their beauty and attractiveness, not a flaw. Eyebrows are beautiful because they are curved (not straight). When she makes a mistake, don't curse her with indiscriminate abuse. Straightening something crooked roughly is the same as breaking it. To break it is to divorce it.
Correct him when he's wrong, so he doesn't get even more crooked. Don't let him continue his mistakes, because that will result in him being less gentle with you and not listening to you. Live with him in proportion!
Eighth, A woman's habit of denying her husband's blessings and kindness. After years of doing good, when she makes a mistake (hurts him) even once, she declares, "I don't get any good from you." This personality trait shouldn't make you angry and distance yourself from her. If you hate her for something (because of this trait), remember the other good qualities you like.
Ninth, Women will go through periods of physical weakness and mental fatigue, so it is natural for Allah to waive some of their obligations in these circumstances. For example, prayer and fasting are waived (during menstruation and postpartum). Be a generation Rabbani in accompanying him when he was in a condition like this. Reduce your demands and orders when he is in a condition like this, as Allah also cancels his obligations to him.
Tenth, Your wife is your captive; love her and understand her weaknesses. In this way, she will be good for you and the best possible life partner.
Those are his 10 pieces of advice, for you household ship captains. Follow this advice, then Allah will protect your ark.
And God knows best bish shawaab
