It's Not Money or Title! This Is the Often-Forgotten Determining Factor in Children's Success!

"Whoever is not educated by his parents will be educated by the times"
In Introduction, Ibn Khaldun. Page xi

There is something interesting about the Greetings Rubric, Voice of Hidayatullah Magazine January 2025 edition. This is a review of the importance of manners as exemplified by the Caliph al-Makmun who was willing to spend thousands of dinars to educate manners to his two sons.

Hopefully, we can learn from this and reflect, especially as parents. Here's the story.   

20 Thousand Dinars for Manners

Caliph al-Ma'mun appointed al-Farra', a linguistic scholar of the time, to teach grammar to his two sons. After imparting his knowledge, al-Farra' rose from his seat to leave the palace. Then, al-Ma'mun's two sons fought over who would prepare al-Farra's sandals.

The fight over the sandals caused the two of them to fight until finally they both made peace and agreed that each of them would bring one sandal to give to their teacher, al-Farra'.

News of their fight eventually reached Caliph al-Ma'mun through his spies. The most respected man in all of Baghdad summoned al-Farra'.

Then al-Ma'mun asked, "Who caused the fight that led to them both fighting over his sandals?" Al-Farra' replied, "I actually wanted to forbid it, but I was afraid that it would damage the good character of your two sons that had been instilled previously."

Listening to al-Farra's reasoning, al-Ma'mun then conveyed, "The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, 'The Prophet ... 𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐝𝐡𝐮 𝐤𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐝𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐚 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠, 𝐲𝐚𝐤𝐧𝐢 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐚, 𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐲𝐚, 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐚. 𝐁𝐚𝐡𝐤𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐤𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐤𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐢 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐬𝐤𝐚𝐧 𝟐𝟎 𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫.”

If one gold dinar is currently worth 5.9 million rupiah, how much did Caliph al-Ma'mun spend on teaching good manners? This means that as a parent, he was very serious about teaching his children good manners. He personally taught them, making them a habit, even though he was a great leader with many busy schedules.

Valuable Lessons as a Parent

So, as parents, how serious are we in instilling... manners to our own children? Have we invested time, energy and thought into the educational process? manners our children? Setting aside money for education?

Or we could simply send the kids to school every day and pick them up in the afternoon. Then, when they get home, they're all busy with their own things, each staring at their small screen. And the next day, we repeat the activity. And if something goes "wrong" with them, manners our children, then the school must be responsible!

This concludes the Hidayatullah Magazine column. As parents, teachers, and educators, it is important and worthy of our attention to what Caliph al-Ma'mun said. A valuable lesson from a leader like al-Ma'mun.

It might cross our minds a little: al-Ma'mun was a caliph, had a lot of money, bodyguards, ministers, luxurious facilities, and so on. So it's only natural that he had to pay a high price for his children's education. In a way, that's true.

However, that's not what happened point importance. If we accept this reasoning as truth, how many 'now' leaders, officials, ministers, regional heads whose children are 'not' educated, in fact it is the children of officials who do the most damage, do indecent things, cause problems and so on.

Therefore, no matter who they are, whether they are leaders, officials, ministers, or anything else, there's no guarantee that their children will be educated and well-educated. Isn't it true that nowadays we see many children of pedicab drivers, farmers, construction workers, vegetable sellers, and other "unskilled" professions who are actually successful in getting an education? manners, discipline their children? Yet they live in poverty, simplicity, with limited money!  

The extent of our seriousness, willingness, sincerity, and dedication as parents, teachers, and educators in educating our children. This is the crucial point. It's not about position or material possessions. After all, parents are ultimately responsible for providing the best education for their children.

Wallahua'lam bish shawâb

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